Checking out how you judge yourself/othe

Introduction

See if you can accept the following view of judging oneself or others. We generally judge ourselves or others (consciously or subconsciously) in terms of three dimensions : 1) motive (from selfish, to self-centred, to altruistic), 2) effort (quality and quantity), and 3) result.

Step 1:

Ask yourself which dimension of the three you normally rely on most to judge yourself (e.g., "result") . Assign a number (0 to 10) to represent the emphasis of your choice (e.g., 6). Then ask yourself which one of the remaining two you would rank as more important for you to judge yourself (e.g., "effort"), and correspondingly assign a number to it（e.g., 3）. Then assign a number for the last dimension. Note that the sum of the three numbers must be 10.

Example :

Motive l Effort l Result

----------------------------------------------

1 l 3 l 6

Step 2:

If the number you assign to "result" is the largest, you may want to reflect on its implications on your life. How does it correlate to your self-esteem, self-confidence, and the balance of deriving love/approval from within versus outside, etc.? Basically is your unhappiness in life something to do with you putting too much emphasis on judging yourself by the result ?

Step 3:

Now, for a moment, I would like to invite you to play God :-) If you were God, how would you assign the numbers to these three dimensions so that you may judge every human being fairly. If the number assigned to "result" is less than your previously assigned number, what would that mean to you if you choose to adopt this new standard of judging? Would that help improve your self-esteem, self-confidence and achieve a better balance of deriving love/approval from within versus from outside, etc. ? Very best wishes to your inner travel ! :-)

Example :

Motive l Effort l Result

----------------------------------------------

4 l 4 l 2

Recommendation:

Do you find your new way of judging self/others a better way? If yes, would you be interested in turning this into your new habit of thinking? Give yourself about 30 days of practice. Let your feeling guide you as you grope forward. Now, if you are curious about the author's version of "If-I-were-God" assessment ...